I can't tell you how happy I am that Big John picked me me me! to be the next Vice President. Or next candidate for President maybe. I'm not really too sure how the US government works yet, but I'm a fast learner! And I'm an inspiration to all women: if a brand-new governor of a tiny state (did I mention I'm a mom too?), and still-gorgeous former beauty queen can grow up to be Vice President, any girl can!
I've only met Johnnie (I'm sure he won't mind me calling him that!) a couple of times, but I'm sure he will be an awesome president! He hates those stupid mooses almost as much as I do. If I get elected, and get my hands on those big army type guns -- blam blam blam!!! Moose sandwiches for all LOL!!!
Please BEAR (old Alaska joke ROFLMAO) with me while I learn this Vice President material and stuff. But remember I'm the governor of the state closest to the Russkies, so who could deal with them better than me me me? That Brezshnev, he'll be like, give me Georgia so I can put the Atlanta Braves on the 2012 Soviet Olympic Baseball team, and I'll be like, OK but you can't have John Smoltz lol!
Big Mac's people are being real nice to me, helping me get "up to speed". Today, we went over the Fannie Mae crisis. Gosh, with a name like that, no wonder no one respects her "assets"!
But most of all, I owe this huge huge honor to Hillary Clinton. She's taken US political leadership further than any woman in history, but I can take it from here, honey! Of course, all her libtard (I love that word, libtard!) ideas will have to go. Equal pay for equal work? Over my drop-dead gorgeous hunk of a husband's stay-at-home hubby's awesome body! But I'm just as much of a woman as Hillary is, or more so lol -- check out my pics! I can and will deliver the babes for Johnnie (that sly fox!)
Well, got to go read this stuff Karl sent me. The Constitution of, um, Independence. World History For Dummies. 101 Recipes Without Seal Meat. Talk to you soon, my future fellow Americans!